I think it’s official.
My kids have officially taken over our bed.
It started slowly. Mr. T. would occasionally wake in the middle of the night and we would bring him into bed with us so that all of us could go back to sleep quickly. Once Mr. T. moved into his big boy bed this remained the same. He would occasionally wake in the middle of the night and at first would call for us to come get him eventually gaining enough courage to come on his own. The thud would usually wake me, then the muted patter of his tiny feet running from his bed to ours would signal he was on his way and I would slide myself over to the edge of the bed. He would hop up right at the end of the bed and feel his way up the duvet, nudging himself in between Mr. C. and I, letting out an exhale almost as though he was thinking “ahh I did it”.
Ms. J slept on her own from day one.Well maybe not from day one…. As a baby she didn’t sleep well. She cried when she was alone and happily slept soundly if you sat in the rocking chair with her holding her close. Around the 9 month mark she started sleeping through the night and from that point on all we had to do was give her a cuddle and a song, lay her down and off to dreamland she went. I can’t even pinpoint when this changed. All of a sudden one day she decided, very vocally, that she wanted to sleep with Mr.T. We tried to get her to go into her crib but she tearfully begged us not to leave her and we caved, thinking that it was a one time thing. THat was that…she then wanted to sleep with Mr. T every night. We changed her crib to a toddler bed thinking maybe she felt constricted by the crib and we had the odd successful night of sleep on her own but then it went right back to wanting to sleep with Mr. T.
I know of people who are so against sharing their beds with their kids. I’ve heard of parents that never allow their kids in their beds no exceptions. I’ve heard extreme situations where parents even lock their bedroom doors sending the message to their children that their bed is off-limits.
It was never really an issue for us. We have a king size bed. There is tons of room. My philosophy is that there is going to come a day when my kids aren’t going to want to sleep with me. There may come a time when they barely want to speak to me so I figure why not take advantage of it now. I love the way they feel cuddled up next to me. There is no better feeling than when they wrap their little arms around my neck even in their sleep. Ms. J gives the warmest hugs and she does it even in sleep. My heart swells when, laying in bed cozy and warm they sleepily whisper “mummy sleep with me”.
The problem is that it’s now almost every night. It has become the norm. It has become expected. If I even mention going to their own beds, squeals of nooooo echo through my home and two little babies roll around the bed trying to escape their mummy, rolling from one side to the next as I try to catch them.
Rather than starting out in their own bed and ending up in ours, they start in ours! We try to move them when we come to bed, some times successfully, other times not. There are, however, many nights where we just leave them where they are and Mr. C and I squeeze in on either side of our king size bed and spend the night balancing on the edge. Many nights Mr. C. gets up in the middle of the night and goes to sleep in Mr. T’s bed.
Where do we go from here? Are we officially co sleepers? I never really thought of us as co sleepers. It was never our intention to co sleep even though we had no issue with sharing our bed with our kids. Yet here we are, and it seems like it’s becoming the norm. I feel as though I’m in a difficult position because there is a part of me that loves sharing my sleep with my two perfect angels. That part of me that wants to savour these beautiful moments, that takes comfort in their little warm bodies beside me, that enjoys the fact that they feel comforted and safe beside me at night. Yet there is another part of me that would love to sleep an entire night in my bed alone..well maybe not alone…I guess it’s ok for Mr. C. to be there too!
I kind of hoped that by writing this out perhaps I’d come up with some ways to get our kids into their own beds permanently. I think I did the opposite and realized that I really don’t mind sharing my bed with them. Maybe I’ll hold on just a little longer. Maybe I will enjoy my quiet peaceful night moments where I can inhale the marvelous aroma of sleeping baby. Where my two sleeping beauties are not fighting but are cuddling. Maybe I will hold on just a little while longer.