New Year’s isn’t really my thing. It never has been. I was never a fan of overpriced parties, long lines at clubs and a crowded bar just didn’t appeal to me. That doesn’t mean I didn’t go out, I did, and I’m sure I enjoyed it, though I would much rather have been in my home with the people I love.
I think part of my issue with New Year’s is that I didn’t look at it as new beginnings. I always saw it as a goodbye and I’m not very good with goodbyes. I tend to live in the past and often find myself daydreaming about freezing time. I live for memories and I mourn the end of happy moments. Letting go of what I know for what may come has always brought me fear.
This past year I have done a lot of growing. I’m getting older and I guess I’m actually starting to learn a little from life. As 2014 comes to a close and I look forward to a bright 2015 I am taking with me so much more than I am leaving behind. 2014 has been fantastic. Our life underwent some big changes, new jobs, a new home in a new city, new schools, new projects (ahem….my new Yummy Mummy Club blog) The lessons that 2014 brought me are sure to make 2015 an epic year.
Letting go of guilt: 2014 marked the last year that I beat myself up with guilt. I will not feel guilty because Mr. C. is doing things that I wish I could be doing for our family. We are a team and we each have certain tasks to make sure this family runs smoothly. One task is no more important than the other. What I do to ensure this family runs smoothly is just as important as what he does and vice versa. I am a working mother and there are only so many hours in the day. I know in my heart that I do my very best with those hours and that’s what matters. If my laundry sits in the basket it’s because my time was spent on something more important. If I miss a 5am workout it’s because I needed the sleep. I will let go of the guilt for the things that I am not doing and instead will be proud of all that I have accomplished.
People pleasing: Guess what? If you aren’t happy with me, I’m ok with it! It feels so freeing to even put this in writing. There will never be a time when I will make everyone happy so I’m just going to quit trying. Not only will I be ok with it but I won’t feel bad about it (see above). I won’t lay in bed worrying that someone is upset with a decision I’ve made. My decisions will be made with my family’s best interest at heart. That’s the best I can do.
Focusing my energy: I am surrounded by people I love and people who love me. 2014 saw me wasting a lot of energy on people who didn’t seem to want to make us a priority. I’m not going to carry that with me into 2015. My heart knows those who are priority and that’s where my energy will be focused rather than chasing. I promise I will do my very best to be there for those who are important to me. To make time for them even though our life is very busy. I promise in 2015 to show those I love just how important they are to me and make it known that my life is better because they are a part of it.
Just Breathe: Life gets busy, for all of us and it’s very easy to just rush through the days not really taking the time to focus. The one promise I make myself is that I will take the time to just breathe. When my head is swimming with a to do list a mile long, when the laundry basket is overflowing, when the floor needs to be swept and my anxiety levels are starting to rise I will sit down and take a breath. I will watch my children playing. I will take the time to read them a story and cuddle with them on the couch. I will just breathe.
This year I was blessed, blessed beyond words. It was a year filled with love, laughter and memories to last me a lifetime. My family has brought me a happiness that I had never imagined possible. 2015 promises to hold the same. Fun will be had, more fantastic memories will be created and there will be tons of reasons to celebrate. Tonight, instead of feeling sad to say goodbye to 2014 I am looking forward to the excitement that is yet to come. I feel prepared to face the year and bring with me some of the things that 2014 has taught me.
Happy New Year and may you see all your dreams come true in 2015!